This is a weak thesis because it … Brainstorm the topic. Goody Clairenstein has been a writer since 2004. This statement is specific, but it isn’t a thesis. After reflecting on the topic a little while longer, you decide that what you really want to say about this topic is that something should be done to reduce the amount of sugar these children consume. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point. The answer to the question is the thesis statement for the essay. For example, if your assignment is, “Write a report to the local school board explaining the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class,” turn the request into a question like, “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” After you’ve chosen the question your essay will answer, compose one or two complete sentences answering that question. Make an assertion based on clearly stated support. State your position clearly. If you have not yet taken action, describe your plan to act on behalf of the people or animals affected by the issue you have chosen. A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. First, world hunger can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Take a position on the topic. For example, your area of focus may be animal rights. How to write a thesis statement. An election campaign platform is the promise a candidate makes and strives to maintain once they are elected. Do you volunteer at an animal shelter? IU Bloomington. Explain how the issue in question has affected you personally. Second, many causes and effects is vague. Instead, it simply indicates a general subject. Revised on September 25, 2020. The title should accurately reflect the basic principle of your platform, such as being against animal testing in cosmetics, or for stem cell research. Will you begin a letter-writing campaign to local and national government? Here are some helpful hints to get you started. First, it fails to take a stand. Her work includes writing website content and small client projects. Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights. This fragment not only announces your subject, but it focuses on one segment of the population: elementary school children. It merely reports a statistic instead of making an assertion. A platform essay is a piece of writing in which you state and explain your position on a given issue or topic. Q: “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?”, A: “The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . Using the above example of your position against scientific animal testing, you might give documented evidence of these tests' cruel effects on animals. This will be seen as immature and it will weaken your platform essay. For example, some platform statements need to include a history of your experience and evidence of your skills to prove that you are qualified to make the statement. A thesis statement is, essentially, the idea that the rest of your paper will support. For the rest of your statement, you will back up these initial points made. Perhaps it is an opinion that you have marshaled logical arguments in favor of. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading. Give background information on the state of animal rights in your area or country. Identify the ways in which you have worked to support your position. Your first step, then, is to distill the assignment into a specific question. Past campaign platforms are useful to future candidates concerned with historicity and maintaining ongoing campaign promises adopted by The Students’ Union. Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. If you are against animal testing in the cosmetics industry, say so in as few words as possible. For platform essays that make up an application for a specific event or competition, it's important to make sure your formatting is consistent with the contest guidelines. Almost all of us—even if we don’t do it consciously—look early in an essay for a one- or two-sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow. Help it stand out by aligning it consistently with the titles of the other sections, whether your put them all along the left margin or down the center of the page. Be direct, be passionate and be respectful of all viewpoints. For platform essays that make up an application for a specific event or competition, it's important to make sure your formatting is consistent with the contest guidelines. Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. Clairenstein earned her Bachelor of Arts in European languages from Skidmore College. Include a title for your platform statement below your name. Copyright 2020 Leaf Group Ltd. / Leaf Group Education, How to Write a Personal Opinion Argument Essay, How to Write a Thesis & Introduction for a Critical Reflection Essay, How to Write an Argumentative Essay Over Ethics, How to Write a Topic Proposal Paper for a Debate. Use bullets to separate the items, as opposed to the statement itself, which will be in paragraph form. .”, A: “Using computers in a fourth-grade class promises to improve . Use specific language. You should note that this fragment is not a thesis statement because your reader doesn’t know your conclusions on the topic. You start out with a thesis statement like this: This fragment isn’t a thesis statement. The rest of your platform essay will explain why you have taken your position, and you will also detail your plans to take action on the issue in question. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. A good thesis statement will usually include the following four attributes: Let’s see how to generate a thesis statement for a social policy paper. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements: My family is an extended family. This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague. Continue the beginning of your platform statement by outlining the various points that will be covered in the rest of your statement. Below your name, include the position for which you are a candidate. Use a readable font, such as 12-point Times New Roman. You finally revise your thesis statement one more time to look like this: Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages in soda machines with healthy alternatives. In this situation, your job is to figure out what question you’d like to write about. One way to revise the thesis would be to write: Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support. Your platform sheet will be shared with the region in advance of elections, so if there is any information you would like kept confidential until your speech, do not include it in your answers. We’ve made the past campaign platforms (short versions) via PDF for past general elections and by-elections. Then, share your thesis, or overall message. It's acceptable - even encouraged - to emphasize your own contributions in a platform essay. If you are asked to write a platform … Add your name to the top of the platform statement. Even if your assignment doesn’t ask a specific question, your thesis statement still needs to answer a question about the issue you’d like to explore. For example: Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support. You find that you are interested in the amount of sugar Americans consume. Indiana University Bloomington Platform essays are a required aspect of pageant competitions, particularly the Miss America pageant, but they are also important in local campaigns and school or college student body elections. A revised thesis might look like this: Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable. Notice how the thesis answers the question, “What should be done to reduce sugar consumption by children, and who should do it?” When you started thinking about the paper, you may not have had a specific question in mind, but as you became more involved in the topic, your ideas became more specific. This is a weak thesis statement. Furthermore, your reader doesn’t know what you want to say about sugar consumption. You have an opportunity to communicate to the reader that the issue has had a personal impact on you, making it a concrete experience instead of an abstract idea. You decide to explain what you mean about food and beverage choices, so you write: Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar. Your readings about the topic, however, have led you to the conclusion that elementary school children are consuming far more sugar than is healthy. This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific. Will you organize a volunteer group to make a positive difference in the lives of senior citizens? Copyright 2020 Leaf Group Ltd. / Leaf Group Education, How to Write a Personal Educational Philosophy Statement, How to Write an Overview for a Project Plan, How to Use Appropriate Headings for Subtopics Within a Research Paper, Miss Miami Gardens Scholarship Pageant: Instructions for Typing the Platform Statement, American Psychological Association: Example of Platform Statement. For example, a political party has a platform that outlines the beliefs of the party, including the party's view of how the government should be run. This aspect of your platform essay is important in supporting your current position on the issue. Your platform sheet must be just one piece of paper (you can use both sides), You do not need to repeat the questions in your answers, so long as we can tell which question you are responding to. Include well-supported statistics to make your point stronger. Your platform is basically the stance you take on a subject, or a declaration of your principles. Try to include personal beliefs or experiences that can give your readers a strong sense of who you are. .”. A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay.It usually comes near the end of your introduction.. Otherwise, making sure your work is neat and clear is always a good bet for putting your best self forward. You change your thesis to look like this: Reducing sugar consumption by elementary school children. This statement asserts your position, but the terms more attention and food and beverage choices are vague. Johnson holds a degree in English from North Carolina State University. Platform essays are a required aspect of pageant competitions, particularly the Miss America pageant, but they are also important in local campaigns and school or college student body elections. Your platform is basically the stance you take on a subject, or a declaration of your principles. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like because, since, so, although, unless, and however. Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers. You can either scroll down or select a link to a specific topic. Then, start your statement out strong to ensure those judging your platform statement will continue reading. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements: This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Let’s say that your class focuses upon the problems posed by changes in the dietary habits of Americans. Begin your platform by clearly stating your beliefs. She has worked in professional publishing and news reporting in print and broadcast journalism. Set the margins on your page to one inch all the way around. She has sat on the editorial board of several non-academic journals and writes about creative writing, editing and languages. J. Johnson has been completing freelance writing work since September 2009. This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. The more concrete steps you can provide, the better. If you are asked to write a platform statement, such as when applying for a scholarship, then you should think very carefully about your beliefs. Avoid using polarizing language or personally attacking people who may not subscribe to your particular viewpoint. If you have accomplished something major in your topic of choice, make sure you communicate that in your platform essay. We refer to that condensation as a thesis statement. Perhaps it is a synthesis of ideas and research that you have distilled into one point, and the rest of your paper will unpack it and present factual examples to show how you arrived at this idea. . Here are two thesis statements: There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement. Follow the guidelines of the organization for which you are creating your platform . This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. In general, your thesis statement will accomplish these goals if you think of the thesis as the answer to the question your paper explores. … Indiana University Bloomington Narrow the topic. It indicates your commitment to the cause in question. Copyright © 2020 The Trustees of Indiana University, How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned, How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned, How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One, Office of the Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education, to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two, to better organize and develop your argument, to provide your reader with a “guide” to your argument, take on a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree, deal with a subject that can be adequately treated given the nature of the assignment. . Once your beliefs have been stated, defend them with documented facts, not opinions. State and explain the issue in question at the beginning of your platform essay. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. To write a manifesto, start by introducing yourself and your goals. Her poems have appeared in "Small Craft Warnings." Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes. Furthermore, it raises a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree, because while most people might agree that children consume more sugar than they used to, not everyone would agree on what should be done or who should do it. Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say: World hunger has many causes and effects. This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. Produced by Writing Tutorial Services, Indiana University, Bloomington, IN, Accessibility | Privacy Notice Did you hear of animal rights abuses and decide to become a vegetarian? For example, a political party has a platform that outlines the beliefs of the party, including the party's view of how the government should be run. You revise your thesis statement to look like this: More attention should be paid to the food and beverage choices available to elementary school children. For example, your platform might start out, "I am against the scientific testing on animals within the cosmetics industry." | While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.

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