Writing 300 words when you usually write 500 is still progress worth celebrating. Just dont. Youre under perpetual threat, constantly scanning for worst-case scenarios, always trying to dodge any potential for error or criticism. Instead, see failure as something associated with healthy risk, uncertainty, and improvement. An hour for that work report. Despite such lip service to these truths, however, somewhere near the center of their inner being, far from their conscious awareness, obsessives are trying to deny this reality. Perfectionism often leads writers to develop impossible standards for their work. Thank you for these tips. If you tend to look at criticism as an attack, reacting defensively, an attitude change can help. Consistent with our hypotheses, findings demonstrated that risk of death was significantly greater for high scorers in perfectionism and neuroticism, compared to low scorers at the time of base line. Learning to love the process, and not just being focused on the end goal, means youll be more likely to write more often. Cogn Behav Ther. In this study, the symptoms of 75 percent of the participants were significantly improved following treatment. And one thing Ive learned first hand is that running around telling everyone theyre doing things wrong nyah-nyah-science-said-so stylemakes for good blog posts and difficult relatiznships. Set a 20-minute timer and write as much as possible regardless of how it reads. Learning to adopt a healthier approach to your self-imposed high standards requires mindfulness and intention. Im a member of your tribe. Are your standards higher than those of other people? But if you dont first establish a healthy approach to self-improvement, then perfectionism may begin to manifest in some of the following ways: You only write a few words before deciding that your work isnt good enough to keep going. Comparing yourself to other people on a regular basis can easily lead Replacing troublesome thoughts will help but you may still feel really uncomfortable in situations where your Inner Optimizer wants to cross every T and dot every I. Do I know for sure that things will turn out badly if I dont get my way? 10 Types of Blogs That Do and Do Not Make Money, 8 Tips for Starting a Christian Blog That Encourages and Inspires, Travel in Faith: Tools & Tips for Travel That Transforms You. Being an imperfect perfectionist makes life a lot more fun. It will be painful, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. You get caught up in fixing trivial errors rather than addressing developmental story issues. This can create a stressed out mind, which is horrible for your creativity. Baby steps are key to gradually allowing yourself to step away from the need to be perfect, and get closer to good enough.. Elizabeth Scott, MS. twitter; and write down what you thought at the time. (You can even journal about your feelings about these thoughts, but dont feel youve failed if you dont have time to do this!). Do You Need a Journalism Degree to Make Money Writing? While perfectionism is a mindset thats hard to crack, working through it will always be worth it. Which, frankly, can cause a lot of problems because that voice is not divine truth but is often bad habits shouting from a neurological megaphone. 3. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Are you a perfectionist? Many people have traits of perfectionists and are even proud of them, but there are important differences between perfectionists and high achievers and being a high achiever is far better for your health and happiness. Even if the result was negative, was it as bad as you thought? Thirty minutes to make dinner. An hour to clean the house. Do they still accomplish good work? Face your fears is a cliche but its also quite true and a core part of CBT. (Yes, we could have learned more. Allow this practice to become something you dont give a second thought. Do you want to boost your writing productivity? Make a list of all the ways perfectionism is hurting you (and those around you), and youll be more motivated to shed these tendencies. If youre stuck for ideas, find some prompts to guide you Ive been following Jos journal challenge, or the daily pages is another popular option. Superiority through inferiority? Required fields are marked *. FInd your genre - and next bestseller - here. First, remember the positive side to being a perfectionist. Expose yourself to what makes you uncomfortable frequently enough and it can become just as bland as watching the same movie 300 times. These perfectionist behaviors can wreak havoc on your writing life, leading you to fear and even loathe the blank page. the false convictions that keep us from achieving our fullest potential, Setting goals based on input rather than output. Do whatever you have to do to get past that internal editor and start writing. Im *so* not a perfectionist. Before the tips, a quip: Writing is elemental, said Natalie Goldberg. Managing Perfectionism is a Lifelong Process. It goes without saying that one of the hardest aspects of being a writer is the writing itself. In fact, the opposite is true. 5. Leave the house a mess for a day. And sometimes the thing that suffers is us. You can also enjoy the process of reaching a goal by getting involved with a group that is also trying to achieve the same goal youre afterorjournalingabout how youfeeland what youlearnas you reach toward your goal. Personally, Ive found that it works wonders in easing stress and overwhelm, especially when it comes to overthinking, and even helps to solidify existing ideas and spark new ones. Constructive criticism can give you important clues on how to improve your performance, making your less-than-perfect performances into useful stepping stones that lead to excellence. Try showing up five minutes late for that meeting. This will help you become more aware of perfectionistic thoughts as they come to you in the future. Perfectionists sometimes get a bad rap, but there are good as well as bad things about this trait. The next time you find yourself exhibiting perfectionist behaviors, take a step back and try to view the situation in a more positive (or forgiving) light. Look back at what you have overcome. They spend too much time trying to get every project just right, which makes them less productive overall. a) Realistic thinking. If there is no consequence, you will learn that your beliefs about the importance of including all of the details are not true. The urge to write never fades and neither should your resolve to do so. You live in the future, and the present is a high-stakes situation where every mistake has enormous ramifications later. This side of perfectionism isnt funask those who suffer through it. Whatever the limiting beliefs that feed your perfectionism, take time today to develop affirmations that counteract these lies (e.g. Identify the beliefs and rules that drive your perfectionism. You rewrite and edit your work excessively, even before finishing the first draft. Wait to revise. (Find a fun way to get past your own perfectionism when writing in Mary Jakschs post, How to Make Writing Easy: One Nifty Tip to Sneak Past Perfection.. If youre struggling with perfectionism, you probably have honed the skill of spotting mistakes in even the best works of others and of yourself. 2012;41(2):163173. It may not get published but you sent it out there. Because, in the end, real perfectionism isnt about having high standards. Its about control. Butsetting the goalto exercise once or twice the first week, and add an additional workout periodically until youve worked up to your goal, you will more likely reach your goal and enjoy many more successes in the process. Do what you think is the right thing. Show your imperfect article pitches, book proposals, and novels to whoever will read them and learn to embrace their honest reactions. And when youre so focused on doing things right that a lot of other things start going wrong, well, bingo. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. first drafts are meant to be messy, debut novels are a learning experience, done is better than perfect). Get it FREE when you sign up for our newsletter. When its time for a re-write, when its time to submit final to the editor yes, I strive for perfection. 3. So its always important for him to do things correctly, know the answer, make the right decision To perfectionists, being wrong isnt something negligible. Find areas where you can let up: Perfectionists tend to want everything to be perfect. This can work to my disadvantage at times, but overall it helps me to keep my sanity. You grow frustrated by your output even when youve made significant progress. Most perfectionists will struggle with this. Practice being productive: Studies have actually shown that perfectionists are less productive than others. Exposure to situations where your standards are unlikely to be met is an excellent way to learn that these situations need not be threatening or that you may benefit from adjusting your standards. Other people do not require that their kitchen be more sterile than the average hospital operating room, But you probably still think the Earth will melt if you change how you do things. What are your tips for overcoming perfectionism, fellow scribes? It can be heartbreaking (or just annoying) to get feedback about your writing, but it will make you a better writer. Ive made every possible mistake writing fiction and non-fiction, and Ive learnt the hard-way how to overcome perfectionism If you cant finish the damn thing, youre not doing your job My writing still isnt where Id like it be, but because Ive written so many bad stories, missed deadlines and read authors like Neil, I know I can finish something. Before you delve further into strategies for letting go of perfectionism, it is important to remember the basics of what perfectionism is and is not; this can help you to stay motivated to make changes. Because most of our problems with the world are caused by irrational thoughts. You care more about the quality of your writing than your enjoyment of the act. Being a writer with a perfectionist mindset is a vicious and debilitating cycle. And how much did you gain in terms of time, effort, and not driving yourself or others crazy? Because adults with perfectionism are often very critical of themselves, one of the most effective ways to overcome perfectionism is to replace self-critical or perfectionistic thoughts with more realistic and helpful statements. (Click to learn more about The Well-Storied Podcast and view a running list of episodes.). Its a shield. Dont hesitate to celebrate each step you take toward developing a healthier creative mindset. Trying to get better isnt perfectionism any more than having a single beer is alcoholism. India, good luck with overcoming perfectionism. Are You Ready to Submit Your Sample Chapters to a Book Publisher? Query more agents. You need to find out what normal standards are. If they fail frequently, it means that they try frequently, that they put themselves on the line and challenge themselves. To overcome perfectionism, keep reminding yourself that the most successful writers in history are the ones who failed the most. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. As writers, holding our work to high standards can help us craft sensational stories. When you think something is okay but not yet perfect, realize that okay is probably good enough in most cases. A little tough love never goes astray. Strip everything back and focus on the personal fulfillment that writing brings. Step 2: Tools to overcome perfectionism Tool #1: Changing perfectionistic thinking. 7. So whats that magic phrase that helps perfectionists have better relationships? In the case of perfectionism, exposure works in part by teaching a person that even if mistakes are made, the consequences are usually not terrible. That typo in your query letter? Perfectionism is a deep-rooted psychological issue that often requires a significant amount of time and effort to resolve. I struggle with perfectionism in all aspects of my life not just writing. To do that, try these seven tips: 1. ), Okay, weve learned a lot. Thats a polite way of saying, get confirmation that your expectations are completely out of whack. Plain and simple: you need a reality check that includes results and the costs involved. Fifteen minutes to write that important emailwhen the timer goes off, send it! ), Are you relating to this? By acknowledging and rewarding your effort, you reaffirm the importance of your journey and motivate yourself to keep fighting for a better creative future. Anyway, you know what I mean. May you write imperfectly, and be happy with your writing. For more information, please see her motivational blog Writing and Wellness and her author website, or follow her on Twitter (@colleen_m_story). But people and media and the society around you have an influence over how you think and feel. Particularly when youre writing, allow yourself to be just who are you are on the page, flaws and all. Their conscientiousness and thoroughness bring obsessives admiration in their workplace And the rewards for being responsible, consistent, alert to details, safety-conscious, and well organized are legion. However, this doesnt mean your writing has to suffer. Remember that you want to make time for writing and your other priority projects, so make a list of less important things that dont need to be perfect and practice spending less time on them. Simply remembering that can help you go easier on yourself. Carefully designed experiments will provide an opportunity to disprove your perfectionistic beliefs. Your perfectionism is probably not going to go away. If it didnt work out, were the results as bad as you thought? You may just naturally look for it, and notice it above all other things. Get your free chapter here! Perfectionism is a double-edged sword.On one hand, it can motivate you to perform at a high level and deliver top-quality work. Is the extra hour you spend reviewing your work really worth finding that one grammatical error? How often are they staying late at the office? If youre ready to level up your fight against perfectionism, try intentionally failing to meet your expectations. Are you able to meet your standards? Any number of factors can impact your productivity on any given day. So you realize that perfectionism will harm you and you try to avoid it. (Find a fun way to get past your own perfectionism when writing in Mary Jakschs post, How to Make Writing Easy: One Nifty Tip to Sneak Past Perfection. 6. Getting your ideas down on paper in a coherent manner is a lengthy process even without disruptions such as writers block, life distractions and general lack of time. With no one else reading your journal but you, theres less pressure to be perfect. How to Overcome Perfectionism for Writers. The qualities they are most proud of are often the ones causing their problems. A perfectionistic outlook is no fun. Remind yourself that all progress is good progress and celebrate. Alrighty, time to get out the toolbox and learn how to fix whats already perfect. And while Im sure your death would be three times as efficient as the average persons, perhaps thats something we can agree to procrastinate on, okay? Your child will forget about it (eventually). Perfectionism is why I dont start my own blog. When this occurs, ideas become shelved to be explored some other day, or at a time when you will somehow be able to articulate your ideas perfectly. How long do they take on a project? With that said, here are some important steps you can take to maintain a healthier attitude. (To learn 5 secrets from neuroscience that will increase your attention span, click here.). If this exercise is difficult, get a friend to help you be more objective. Overcoming procrastination for writers is really hard. Push yourself to work more quickly, and adhere to your allotted time. One of the most significant problems that perfectionists face is the fear that if they stop shooting for perfection, they will become low achievers and their goals will go by the wayside. Get the most extensive and accurate information on the e-book market available today. Just say, I dont know. Dont fudge; dont reel off a dozen possibilities to avoid admitting ignorance; dont offer something you do know but that doesnt answer the question. Your book, query, or proposal may not be perfect but it exists. Famous, respected, wealthy or all three? See how much less loved you are. If you related to more than that, you may be a full-blown perfectionist. In many ways, it can benefit your career. Being conscientious and thorough are praised, workaholism is among the most acceptable of addictions and we often throw around maxims like you can never be too careful. (Spoiler alert: actually, you can.). Perfectionism is different in that the focus is less forgiving; perfectionists beat themselves up for anything that appears to be lacking, and this robs them of the satisfaction and pride that comes from all of the things that they do well. Connection. Write 500 words rather than 1,000. So try this: next time you are asked a question and dont know the answer, say so. Be vulnerable. Ive been putting this article off for weeks. How to Make Writing Easy: One Nifty Tip to Sneak Past Perfection., How Joining a Virtual Book club Can Help Deal With Coronavirus Stress, You Are What You read: Bookshelves of the Famous, 4 Killer Ways to Find Ideas for Your Next Bestseller, Inspired to Write: 20 Inspiring Quotes to Help You Through Difficult Times, 7 Powerful Lessons From 7 Legendary Writers, Gratitude Journal: How to Calm Anxiety and Boost Your Immunity, Word Count of Famous Novels (& How Long it Took to Write Them)[Infographic], How to Make Money Translating Other Authors Works (or Your Own), How to Double Your Chance of Landing a Book Deal (Before Youve Written a Single Word), How to Earn Money as a Freelance Writer in 2020, 5 Simple but Crippling Blogging Mistakes (& How to Avoid Them).
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