Some of the old people on this planet have the most unbelievable amount of love, generosity and help inside them. We usually keep thoughts such as the following to ourselves: But, when you play a professional role, or when someone explicitly asks for your assistance, then she is generally more open to viewpoints with critical elements. 5. Who are you in a unique position to help today? Give it a try, you can unsubscribe anytime. This is how I live my life today. You’ll also receive my blog, ‘The Conflict Journey.’, The Conflict Journey  |  Copyright  @  2019. I’m in a unique position to help them based on my experience with the exact problem they’ve had. Realizing that sharing your story can help others. This could be emotional experience, for example: “How exciting,” or “That gives me the creeps.” Or, it could be perceptual experience: “You seem to be putting a lot of time and energy into your hobby.” Sharing your experience builds connection and relationship. I go because my experience with alcoholism makes it easy to help people that are struggling with it. Most importantly, people can be very receptive to critical feedback when it is expressed as your experience, rather than as an evaluation. The value of asking for experiences is in the story. Sharing experiences changes the dynamic. Those are some of the biggest gifts we have because they are the things we can do the greatest good with. This is the first step. I pray that when I am suffering, I gain the peace from remembering that I’m also being given a beautiful asset. People love Oprah for being open about all the things she’s struggled with in her life. You can talk freely about what you’ve done in the past, and how it may be relevant for someone else. Their depth and wisdom make them a valuable asset, because they provide guidance and leadership. Getting old is not for sissies. Required fields are marked *, “Seven Mistakes People In Conflict Make and How To Avoid Them” by entering your name and email below. Everyone has stories that you can learn and grow from. And you’ll gain insights you probably would never think to ask about. Experiences are all around us. Jeremy shares his expertise as a writer, consultant, and keynote speaker. If you are open to making a little extra effort to be helpful, try out this method: General guideline: Report your experience, but not your evaluations or judgements. Be the first to get latest updates and exclusive content straight to your email inbox. It’s part of how we grow together with others. When you notice such unproductive attitudes and behaviours and dispassionately shed light on them, you bring their significance to an individual’s awareness. You never know what you’ll hear, but you’ll often receive a pearl of wisdom. I initially went to this support group thinking it was a burden. And their value is not based on their judgements or opinions, it’s based on their experiences. When I think about who I’m uniquely crafted to help it gives me the motivation to help more people. The situation sounds very complex.”. Jeremy Miller is a brand strategist and bestselling author. I pray to remember today that the things that are challenging for me, my pain and suffering until now, is my biggest asset. Who is more likely to listen to me because I understand their pain and suffering? Your ability to notice your immediate experience in a present and conscious manner; Your ability to disclose your experience. You may have put them away in a closet and figured it was something shameful you wanted to take to the grave. That puts mom in a unique position to help any other woman that has lost a husband. I’m honored you’ve spent this time today and I hope this is helpful. Stories can be very healing and many people benefit from getting the opportunity to pass on their wisdom to others. When you’re helping others, you will often feel better about yourself, increasing the likelihood that your next experience will be a positive one, rather than a negative one. When you think about who you’re in a unique position to help, you’ll realize the assets you’ve been given by your experiences. I thought I was a loser. Sharing with others gives us the opportunity to celebrate accomplishments, talk through difficult decisions, and to treat our inner dialogue as something of value. I’ve been spending a lot of time with people that are old enough to be my granddad or  great granddad. They form and shape us into the people we are today. Sharing experiences stops you from judging others When you share an opinion or advice, you’re judging the other person. When you give advice, you’re telling someone what they should do based on your experience. That gives me a clear purpose in my life. I am honored to be a part of that process with you today. For example, Oprah had bad experiences in her childhood, but the work she’s done as an adult is admirable. That’s why today there’s over 100,000 people that are taking my courses online. It’s alchemy that you hear about in books novels, or mythology. Note that none of the examples above include judgements or conclusions. Then, at an opportune moment, disclose what you are experiencing: “I am getting confused listening to you. By sharing your experiences, you can help others thrive in their lives. Thank you for reading this. Rather you’re telling a story, and providing an opportunity for them to learn from your experiences. They can choose what to act upon. For example, my mom has been in the position of losing a spouse. By not expressing a judgement or conclusion verbally, you help to diminish defensive reactions to your feedback. Sharing your expertise not only helps others in their professional endeavors, it also helps you. You may not have had problems that have pushed you to the breaking point. Share your experience as a powerful way to help others. Mississauga, ON L5M 0M5 You can also use this normal sharing function to help others become more aware of their problematic attitudes or behaviours. It’s maybe the most cited benefit of doing good: you’ll feel great. If you’re facing a challenge, seek out people who may have related experiences and ask them: Approach each conversation with an inquisitive mind, and let them tell you a story. The point is: In these moments, I’m extremely grateful for the help. I sometimes feel that you want to be sure I know that. Sharing your experience builds connection and relationship. You also graphically communicate the significance of unproductive attitudes and behaviours. It’s your biggest asset today. It’s turning base metal into gold. You’re interpreting the situation, and comparing it to how you approached issues in the past. We are a collection of our experiences. The experiences you have gone through can always help someone else in need. The people that are freed from the matrix free other people from the matrix. That gives me a clear objective. If you struggled with something  and you learned from it, you’re in a position to help someone else. 3. Experiences on the other hand are highly valuable. Some will come from people with direct experience, and others will come from tangents you may never have considered. Now, I still go each day even though I don’t have the original problem that I went in with any more. In every culture elders hold positions of respect and honor. It’s like the movie The Matrix. I wandered into my 12-step support group because I needed help. Helping others is a great way to feel better about yourself. What might look like an easy problem to you might not be easy for someone else. Discussions take place within a social learning platform in a lot of ways – through discussion boards, live chat, virtual classrooms and so on. Or, another example from a conflict situation: “It’s fair to say you are highly intelligent. Why do you think this is?”. You’ll hear about the players, and what influenced them. You may have the best intentions and share the advice from a very caring place, but you’re still judging. And what you think is a minor aspect of your story might just be the pearl of wisdom they needed to move forward. We all have problems we were given that were difficult for us. Sharing experiences also comes with a sense of pride, so this type of social sharing comes most naturally to most learners. I’m being molded like a piece of metal into exactly what I need to be of service to you today. When I was struggling with alcoholism, I stumbled in to a place where I was surrounded by other people that had the same problem. The tendency comes to not talk about those things and act like they didn’t exist. They can take what they want. If you’re in the matrix today, I’m offering you a way out through seeing that the suffering you’ve been through is for a reason. I’ve been learning so much from them. Sometimes it may be natural to add an open question: “As we’ve been talking I’ve been getting a knot in my stomach. Sharing through Discussions. What do you think?”. Sometimes if you don’t have a hard time with something, you’re not in a good position to help with it. This is largely due to the huge wealth of experience the Internet has to draw on; 'real' people with 'real' experience are now helping others deal with issues that they have personal knowledge of. Then you go away with only a partial view of how someone else sees a situation.”. Choose to be curious. Doing Good Feels Good. We often share our immediate experience with others in social situations. Sharing Means You’re Not Alone. I’m amazed at how many people I see that are helping people. It gives me peace knowing that even when I’m 100 years old, I can still be helpful and useful to other people. I try to see who I am in  a unique position to help based on my life experiences and the things I’ve been through. Not only will you hear the facts, but you’ll learn about the context and emotions involved in the situation. Instead of judging, you’re sharing a story. Experiences offer so much more value than an opinion. PO Box 57014 Over the past decade, Jeremy and the Sticky Branding team have profiled and interviewed hundreds of companies across dozens of industries to uncover how companies grow Sticky Brands. To do so, I believe you need to further develop two capabilities that you already have: You may have the best intentions and share the advice from a very caring place, but you’re still judging. I pray to remember that the best areas I can help in are those that I can honestly talk about and share with other people. What are some of the worst things you’ve had to deal with that pushed you to the breaking point? His blend of humor, stories, and actionable ideas will inspire you to innovate and grow your business and brand. Instead of asking people for advice or suggestions, ask for their experiences. When you give advice, you’re telling someone what they should do based on your experience. It’s funny to me that today my alcoholism is one of the most valuable things I have in my life. Everything I’ve dealt with in my life has put me in a unique position to help you and that makes all the bad things worth it. You’re not telling them what to do. Often we feel those things are shameful and we don’t want to talk about it with anyone. You can also use this normal sharing function to help others become more aware of their problematic attitudes or behaviours. This is the most recent incarnation of the sharing ethos of the Internet community. I also wonder if you are interested.”, “You talk so much that others don’t have opportunity to have a conversation with you. They are better described as experiences and perceptions – ones that you suggest the other person consider. In social situations we generally don’t share critical or negative experience. When I went there, I realized we all have things in our lives that we struggle with. Rather than tell someone what you think about him, focus on reporting your experience of being in his presence. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. It’s turning suffering and pain into love and joy. You then realize you’ve been through this terrible thing and now you know how to help someone else. You can learn so much from the people around you. Pay close attention to what you experience, Decide what aspect of your experience is most relevant, Find a way to put it into words and share it with the other person. I wonder if the other party experiences what I am experiencing and how that might affect how she responds to you. You might give the advice based on actual experience, or you might give it based on a hypothesis. But either way, you’re making a judgement and telling someone what to do. Because of my experience with my alcoholism, I’m in a unique position to help people who are not able to stop drinking. Seek out experiences so you can grow faster, and in return share your experiences freely. I pray that you have the same chance to experience my truth in your life today. Opinions are like noses, everyone’s got one. I thought that if I was a better person I could control this myself. I’m uniquely suited to help other people with it every day. When my best friend passed away unexpectedly, what gave me the most comfort, besides crying, was talking. I’m here to pass on what I’ve learned to you so that you can use it. Your email address will not be published. You might say it was easy for me to not drink. It was the one thing that got me to go above my fear. Helping other starts with being open about your most painful experiences. It’s part of how we grow together with others. When you share an opinion or advice, you’re judging the other person. And when you take an interest in others’ experiences you can grow exponentially. Mom could also help a man that’s lost a wife. In reality, the skeletons in your closet can be some of your most valuable assets. There are various ways to encourage social sharing and derive learning from it. If you hadn’t been through that experience, you wouldn’t be able to help someone else. He or she is often surprised to learn that these attitudes or behaviours could influence how another party responds. RPO Brittany Glen They can ask more questions. If you discover what you’re in a unique position to help someone else with, you can do some amazing work in your life. For example: “When I want to say something, I have trouble knowing when to speak. Here’s how… 1. All the things you thought were  terrible experiences that you didn’t deserve become assets. My problem was alcoholism, but everyone has experiences that put them in a unique position to help others. Also, you may be able to establish critical feedback as a normal part of the conversation using the following question: “If I notice you doing something I don’t think is helpful, may I point it out to you?”. Many people you see who are older have earned the right to have had social security and other benefits you get from being older. To do so, I believe you need to further develop two capabilities that you already have: When you are with a friend, colleague, or client who is struggling with an issue, pay attention to what you experience in his or her presence and how you are assessing him or her in semi-conscious ways. I pray that all the pain and suffering you’ve been through is for a clear purpose that you can realize in your life. You repay your debt of gratitude for having  been released from the problems and suffering you’ve had is to free others. I wasted 10’s of thousands of dollars on stupid things trying to grow my business. Have you ever encountered a similar situation. Your email address will not be published. It engrains what you know. Canada. The findings are echoed in another recent Psychological Science study that found that sharing experiences—even with a complete stranger—makes people rate those experiences … I struggled a lot with trying to advertise my business online.